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| Priceless; My Beautiful Mamma receiving a kiss on the cheek by Peter Andre |
Tuesday 19th August, 2014
It's been about 8 years since mum got diagnosed with a Bipolar condition. I can remember vaguely what happened, but not in the correct order for some reason. I think it was because it was all too confusing and upsetting. I can remember having to drive down to the fields in the village to find mum sat on the bench balling her eyes out saying how she just wanted to end it all. It wasn't the nicest thing to witness, your own mother sat there feeling so down. I can remember going to visit her in a home up in Blackwood, friends and family gathered which was amazing to see the support. I can remember going to the doctors down in Risca. Myself, dad and mam were sat there one minute waiting patiently to be seen, and the next second it was like someone had flipped a switch in mums head. It was on my life thee worst thing I have ever had to witness. My mums mental state flipped dramatically from one extreme to the next, from sitting patiently and quite content, to, the only way I can describe it was, as though she had been possessed by a devil. She was ranting and raving about how she had been waiting for ages. She was screaming with raging eyes glaring at me. There was physically nothing we could do. Then mum barged her way out and tried to walk out onto the road to get hit by an oncoming vehicle. The doctor came out to help calm her down. Which is the last thing I can remember of that incident. Another experience was being sat in the car with my mum at the back or Spoons in Blackwood. Not too sure why we were there but I can remember mum telling me how she wanted to go back to the home to get away from everything and how I was crying, telling her how I didn't want her to go back there.
Those are just a few of the many things that we have been through as a family trying to adapt to this god awful condition. As a family, it's been one of the toughest things to learn about and to cope with.
As a daughter to one of the most wisest men I know, it has been the most heart breaking thing to have to witness, seeing my dad watch his beautiful wife go through this horrible transformation of ups and downs. He is the most strongest man I know.
As a big sister, one of the strangest and most confusing things I've had to witness is my brother having to live a life not knowing or understanding what is going on to his own mother. A mother who would play fight and wrestle with him has gone.
As a daughter, or as my mum always says, as the first born, to witness my own mother and best friend go through what she has gone through has been one of the most difficult, soul destroying experiences any daughter should ever have to go through.
But, the things we have learnt about life and the condition itself and the people we have met has brought one of the most important things in life to us, hope!
The most important lesson I have learnt when it comes to a mental health condition. And if for any reason Robin Williams' daughter could read this, as I heard that she's in need to know why he didn't love her enough to have not gone through with what he done, is for her to know and try her best to understand, that, it wasn't her dad who took his life, it was the condition, the monster is what we call it in CHAT. If you can learn to separate the condition from the person who has it, you will begin to understand that the things they do or say is coming from the monster.
By doing this, you can start to help the person with a condition in ways that can make such a difference to various situations. For example, when mum calls up and says that she doesn't want to come down, and gives me all the excuses under the sun. I now know that it's not mum not wanting to see me, it's the monster feeding mum with all negative ideas of ways not to leave the house. And I wont let that happen. I can now help mum realise that the monster is being negative and holding her back and help her make her own decision to come down to visit me.
This is the first tool that CHAT teach people, is about the Monster and how powerful it is, and how we need to stop it from controlling us, and how we can control it. It has worked for hundreds of people who have attended their workshops, so please, if you would like to learn more about your condition and how to cope with it, please visit their site; www.chateducation.com
By doing this, you can start to help the person with a condition in ways that can make such a difference to various situations. For example, when mum calls up and says that she doesn't want to come down, and gives me all the excuses under the sun. I now know that it's not mum not wanting to see me, it's the monster feeding mum with all negative ideas of ways not to leave the house. And I wont let that happen. I can now help mum realise that the monster is being negative and holding her back and help her make her own decision to come down to visit me.
This is the first tool that CHAT teach people, is about the Monster and how powerful it is, and how we need to stop it from controlling us, and how we can control it. It has worked for hundreds of people who have attended their workshops, so please, if you would like to learn more about your condition and how to cope with it, please visit their site; www.chateducation.com
Raising awareness for mental health...
Wednesday 13th August, 2014
Raising awareness is so important when it comes to Mental Health. After hearing about the wonderfully talented Robin Williams suffering with depression and hearing peoples shocked reactions as if to say why should he have anything to be depressed about, I felt quite passionate towards finally writing about my face to face experiences and the reality of living with a family member with a Bipolar condition, as so many people suffer with conditions such as Anxiety, Depression or Bipolar these days including my precious Mamma, I feel so strongly about reassuring others that there is hope, I promise.
I thought I'd share with you a testimonial I wrote for the site of an organisation I now volunteer for. They help people by running workshops where they provide information about the mental health conditions so that people with the condition themselves or the family member who supports that person can have a better understanding of the condition itself. They teach four simple coping techniques, as they have helped myself and mum get to where we are today...
"To see the life changes you and Jocelyn are making to people; I get to see it first-hand/in real life, and it is the most wonderful gift you could ever give me - hope and happiness, hope for myself, my mum, for you and every single person that comes through those doors, whether it’s a family member, partner etc, I know what is ahead of them as I have witnessed it with so many other people, and I’m so happy to know I can witness them on their journey, to help them and witness their transformation into a healthier happy individual. With regards to happiness, nothing compares to seeing people so happy in each other’s company like we get to witness during your workshops. It is the most beautiful thing anyone can have in life and you two are giving that to others, like you have done for me and my mum and my family. Life has never been so good for myself and mum and I seriously cannot thank you enough, because if it wasn’t for you being the people you are we wouldn’t be where we are right now."
You can find this testimonial along with others plus information on their workshops on CHAT's website; www.chateducation.com
Please, if you have a family member or a friend or know someone with a Mental Health condition, please mention CHAT to them. I will be sharing with you on this page some very personal stories. So, please keep an eye out on this page for future posts.
Stacey x